Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 29 - September 2009

I had a strange sense of deja vu at work yesterday.

One of my colleagues asked me a simple, offhand question about something I hadn't committed the least energy to worrying about: (When I thought about telling this story, I incrementally convinced myself I would include this sentence: "I'll spare us both the indignity of telling you the exact topic of the question." Then I realized you faced no indignity whatsoever, and I canned the sentence.) colored paper.

That's right. Nothing fancy. Just regular old colored printer paper, the type you use for your little CYO dance flyers or your lost kitten posters. No big whoop, right?

Inexplicably, however, my mind turned it into, not only a big whoop, but a whole ream of hootin' and hollerin' colored paper dolls. I wound up spending the better part of a day defining, debating, dismissing, denouncing, and deifying countless facets of colored paper, its uses, its sources, its costs, and its proper place in the universe. I woke up yesterday morning with anything but colored paper on my mind, but a passing word led me down a rabbit hole where I can think of nothing but. It felt so familiar, but I just couldn't place the sensation.

Until today.

I had a physical therapy appointment this afternoon. (The therapy is going quite well, as a matter of fact. I would put my ankle at about 88% capacity. It does most of the things it's supposed to do, although going down stairs still presents a little tinge of adventure. This week brought yet another progression at PT in to new arcane and horrifying tests of corporal flexibility, and the back of my ankle sort of feels like it has been sanded by a shiatsu master. But, as they say, the pain means its working. Thanks for asking.) As I was walking in to a nearby convenience store afterward for my celebratory bottle of Gatorade-brand sports thirst quencher, I suddenly placed where the pre-vu had happened.

The year was 1986, and I was sitting in a pew at St. Francis Xavier Church in scenic and historic downtown Brunswick, Georgia. (There's a lovely park across the street where I learned a few lessons over the years. The most important is that I should avoid participating in organized relay races. Running a close second is that the phrase "War of Northern Aggression" isn't just shouted in redneck bars, as evidenced by the inscription on the monument to Civil War dead erected there by The Daughters of the Confederacy in 1902.) One of the Marist priests who ran the parish was delivering a homily about something or another, and he drove a point home with this question: "How well do we, as a community, emulate Christ when there, next to the counter in every Jiffy Mart, is a rack of pornography for sale?"

Why hadn't I been informed of this? From that moment on, no longer was my focus on the Jiffy Mart's gas pumps or its Slush Puppy dispenser or even its Mortal Kombat machine. No, I always dutifully checked to confirm my spiritual leader had spoken the truth. Over two decades later, I have continued to confirm it on convenience store visits on backroads and interstate highways in countless towns, in forty-eight states and well over a dozen countries. I suppose that quest for affirmation, inspired by a passing comment, will continue for decades to come.

I just hope, for any number of reasons, I don't find colored paper to be as compelling.


Title - Artist

Tribute to the Beast - Bagger 288
Arcadian Driftwood - The Band
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Obsessed - Mariah Carey
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow
Year Ten - Kimya Dawson
I Thought You Should Know - Steve Earle
Elmo's World - Elmo
Telephone Line - ELO
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Waiting for a Girl Like You - Foreigner
Paris (Aeroplane Remix) - Friendly Fires
Red Rain - Peter Gabriel
Solsbury Hill - Peter Gabriel
Centerfold - J. Geils Band
Walk This Sampa - Grandpamini
Standing on the Moon (1989-7-17) - Grateful Dead
Flux and Meter - Tommy Guerror
Million Dollar Bill - Houston
Nasty - Janet Jackson
Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
LoveGame - Lady Gaga
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
Cherish - Madonna
No Leaf Clover - Metallica feat. San Francisco Symphony Orchestra
Introducing Palace Players - Mew
Dirty Pop - *NSync
Fireflies - Owl City
Consoler of the Lonely - The Raconteurs
Vegetable Car - Joshua Radin
Subterranean Homesick Alien - Radiohead
Islands in the Stream - Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Wetter - Twista
Feel It All Around - Washed Out
I'm Bound to Pack it Up - The White Stripes
Toes - Zac Brown Band