Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 21 - December 2008

As I type this, I'm watching what I am sure is only the first of this season's many many viewings of A Christmas Story.

Yes, the holiday season is officially upon us. I know, I know. The real officials declared it open this past Friday when countless retail outlets opened their doors to bilk from us what dollars they could in this less than promising consumer climate, but I've always had a problem with authority. The holidays are no exception.

Given my iconoclasm, which is really just simple contrarianism, I suppose it may seem odd that I have such a pronounced affinity for something that, with the possible exception of National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation, is the most overaired movie of all time. Who can possibly think it's okay to run a single film - back-to-back-to-back - for 24 hours at a stretch, much less to do so at least once a year for nearly as long as I can remember? I even get sick of watermelon Jolly Ranchers somewhere around the sixth one in a sitting. I, for one, don't think such a programming choice is okay. Despite all that, there's a soft spot in my heart for A Christmas Story.

"Why?" you ask.

Because that movie, unlike Vegan Vacation - that was a typo I don't want to correct. How long do you think it will be before Chevy Chase's career has descended to the point of signing on for that project? Or, perhaps, it has already slid past it.- rather, unlike Vegas Vacation, led me directly to countenancing my own complicity in the base human drive toward senseless, lumbering destruction.

When I was about ten years old, I was one of those obnoxious and obnoxiously lucky kids who begged and tantrumed my parents into buying me a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. (To be fair, my older brother brought his considerable powers of persuasion to bear on the matter, as well.) That's right. The one with the compass and sundial in the stock. (By the way, the peg on the sundial was so painfully inconvenient that it lasted almost 45 seconds before I broke it off and pinned my time-telling hopes to the digital number strapped to my wrist.) In scenes you may recognize from the movie under discussion here, much of that particular Christmas day was spent gleefully hurling small copper pellets at various targets, mostly the formidable loblolly pines in our back yard.

It didn't take long for my fascination with shooting trees to wear off, and I, ever the high-achiever, cast my eye about for more challenging targets. Thus did I start setting my sights on the neverending stream of small woodland creatures that made those trees their home. Shooting squirrels was pretty entertaining. The spring-loaded air rifle didn't pack enough punch to break skin, particularly not at the range my youthful stalking skills permitted me to approach anything alive. No, the BB would smack them in their squirrel ass and send them bolting up a tree, which provided a brief spate of moving-target practice. (I never got enough of that to get any good.) But, then there was the fateful day when there was no squirrel around to terrorize and my eye lit on what turned out to be a young blue jay perched on a low branch about halfway across the yard. I put the bird directly in my sights and hesitated a few long minutes before pulling the trigger. In a final second of misgiving, I raised the barrel just a bit, thinking my shot would consequently startle the little guy and inspire him to fly off, thereby satisfying my urge to disturb whatever living creature happened to be in the area.

Alas, I hadn't quite gotten a grasp on the whole concept of how gravity affects projectiles. (Damn you, Professor Perry! You were a decade late!) My shot hit the mark I thought I had avoided, and the little bird erratically fluttered to the ground where it continued to flail until I sped my sudden sinking feeling by putting it out of its misery with a handful of mercy BBs. I buried it a few minutes later in the vacant lot next door and lived a one-boy version of The Telltale Heart for several days while waiting for my parents to discover the crime.

(They never did, although there's a good chance my mother is getting in the car right now to drive up here and slap me in the mouth.)

That event still makes me a little sick to my stomach when I think of it, which I do fairly frequently, particularly when TNT starts running its A Christmas Story marathons and mini-marathons.

But, how do the sparrows know?


Title - Artist

Big Balls - AC/DC
Jessica - The Allman Brothers Band
Whipping Post - The Allman Brothers Band
The Internet is for Porn - Avenue Q
Dear Grandma - Bear and Tutter
Blackbird - The Beatles
Spent on Rainy Days - Bright Eyes
You'll Never Catch Him - Buffalo Tom
Christmas Island - Jimmy Buffett
White Christmas - Bing Crosby
Rockin' Robin - Bobby Day
Never Ending Song of Love - Delaney & Bonnie
Meheadsoon - Digital Underground
Imagine Santa - DJ BC
Elmo's Song - Elmo
A Message to you Santa Claus - FAROFF
Song #1 - Fugazi
The '59 Sound - The Gaslight Anthem
Do They Know It's Christmas - Bob Geldof and the Band-Aid Gang
Cry - Godley & Crème
Mind Left Body Jam - Grateful Dead
Ah, Leah - Donnie Iris
Human - The Killers
Complicated - Avril Lavigne
Hollywood - Los Lonely Boys
Toby, Toby - Mega Mindy
Butterfly - Jason Mraz
Computer Blue - Prince and the Revolution
Intimate Secretary - The Raconteurs
Level - The Raconteurs
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Leon Redbone and Zooey Deschanel
I'll Be Home With Bells On - Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton
Hljómalind - Sigur Rós
Í Gær - Sigur Rós
Titty Bangin' - Bob Schneider
Womanizer - Britney Spears
Bad Girlfriend - The Theory of a Deadman
A New York City Christmas - Rob Thomas
Live Your Life - TI
Spires - Umphrey's McGee
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Father Christmas
FreeCreditReport.com jingle

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 20 - November 2008

This is a story I’ve told a couple of times in the past day or two.

I’ve hinted here before at my affinity for many of NPR’s podcast offerings. As I am sure you not only read these posts faithfully but also go the extra mile to index them fully for immediate mental recall, you will find it no surprise when I tell you my consumption of NPR broadcasts continues unabated and, in fact, gradually increases.

A few months ago, This American Life ran an episode entitled The Giant Pool of Money. The idea behind the show was to take all of the hubbub surrounding the mortgage crisis and put it in layman’s terms (or at least in accessible analogies that appeal to my poet’s sensibilities).

It would seem that show went over remarkably well with the listening public. As a result, NPR spun off a daily(ish) program called the Planet Money podcast, which intends to emulate that model of explaining the various financial vagaries of the day in terms that can be understood by a broad audience.

I recently added Planet Money to my routine podcast catalogue. While a daily podcast expectedly lacks some of the polish that the less frequent and longer format permits, I’ve been impressed by Planet Money’s success in making me think I am slightly better informed about the current economic tumult. I have also realized that thinking I have a modicum of understanding certainly does not make me feel better about things.

Not one bit.

A couple of mornings ago, I managed, for the first time in a while, to drag my ass out of bed at the hour I pretend I’m going to drag my ass out of bed every day, and I celebrated by taking a brief commute stop at my neighborhood coffee shop. While doing so, I listened to a Planet Money piece in which a contributor discussed the line at his local coffee shop as a microcosmic view of economic forces. The usual morning wait time had grown geometrically because the shop reduced its morning staff from three to two. The shrunken production capacity caused longer lines which, in turn, caused more potential customers to seek their coffee elsewhere. It’s not hard to see that fewer customers lead to further depressed sales which lead to further reduction of costs which leads to further decreased capacity…and on and on and on.

I got through that piece and a few others during the 20 minutes I stood waiting for my medium dark roast while the lone barista scurried back and forth between the limited-service kitchen, the espresso machine, and the register. (To be fair to global economic forces, the precious jackass two spots ahead of me in line didn’t help matters with his armada of drink orders led by a half-caf half-soy half-skim caramel latte with a double shot of whipped dodo egg.)

When I finally got back on the road, the eerie visual effect lent the scene through my windshield by the post-dawn drizzle combined with the depressing financial news on my radio to give me the sense of watching documentary footage (apparently with Spanish subtitles) aiming to convey a startling sense of hopelessness. Somewhere in the middle of that sensation, I came to the uncomfortable realization that the things that keep me up at night – Deadlines are too early or too late. Questions get answered too slowly or unsatisfactorily. Conflicts arise when folks don’t approach the world the same way I do. I forgot to drop my suit off at the cleaners yet again. – aren’t actually all that important. There are much more important things out there to keep me up at night, and they are far more terrifying than what I have to face every day. Suddenly, the fact that I have anything at all that makes me comfortable (a well-executed medium dark roast), much less something that makes me exceptionally happy (an unshakable foundation of embarrassingly supportive friends and loved ones), seems a remarkably unlikely victory.

Now on to the public arm of my unflappable sense of well-being.


Title - Artist

Live Wire - Beastie Boys
Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitude - Jimmy Buffett
Guttermouth - Camaro Rouge
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Scalia? - Capitol Steps
Maybe Not - Cat Power
O'Malley's Bar - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
So What - Miles Davis
Life in a Northern Town - Dream Academy
Straight to Hell - Drivin' 'N' Cryin'
My Uncle - Steve Earle
Secret Heart - Feist
God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood
Don't Stop Believin' - Petra Haden
I Saw It on Your Keyboard - Hellogoodbye
Iris - Hercules and Love Affair
Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane
Singing in the Rain - Gene Kelly
Jungle Boogie - Kool & the Gang
Oh Yoko! - John Lennon
Borderline - Madonna
Lip Gloss - Lil' Mama
Atlantic - Rainer Maria
Every Night - Paul McCartney
Time to Pretend - MGMT
Every Day is Like Sunday - Morrisey
Hot n Cold - Katy Perry
Yes We Can, Can - The Pointer Sisters
Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
Cum on Feel the Noize - Quiet Riot
Black Betty - Ram Jam
Accidental Babies - Damien Rice
You Can Vote However You Like - Ron Clark Academy Singers
The Truth About Cows - Shiner
Twilight - Elliott Smith
Maria - The Sound of Music Abbey
Womanizer - Britney Spears
All I Want to Do - Sugarland
Once in a Lifetime - The Talking Heads
Shower the People - James Taylor
America, Fuck Yeah! - Team America
Master Exploder - Tenacious D
Daughter - Loudon Wainwright III
Swordfishtrombone - Tom Waits
Then What? - Clay Walker
Stronger - Kanye West
Colors - Kira Willey
A Country Boy Can Survive - Hank Williams Jr.
Lovely Day - Bill Withers
Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Stevie Wonder
Ditech Jingle
Elmo's Restaurant Commercial

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 19 - October 2008

Autumn is tricky.

There was a time in my life when autumn meant little more to me than the end of summer, with its lazy days of nerd camp and decidedly un-Spartan Book It! promotions at the local library. (If you think I didn't knock down more than my share of personal pan pizzas, then you know nothing about my physique in grade school nor the origins of my eating habits today...) Of course, that would have been the time in my life when I was excited about the beginning of another new school year: new shoes, new pencil case, virgin workbooks with which I could have my way for three full quarters! Still...

Autumn is tricky.

My attitude toward the season has evolved over the years. Going back a couple of decades, my fondest autumn memories are of early nightfalls that brought on chilly and dangerous post-twilight one-on-none basketball games (which I often won), one fateful streetlight tussle with the insufferable Jimmy Jackson from down the block (during which I threw my first - and possibly only - closed-fist punch to the face), and nearly incontinent marathons of computer Jeopardy! that aggregated so excessively that it eventually blew our poor Commodore 64's memory. These days, however, my autumnal diversions are, if not more sophisticated, then at least more complicated.

More recently, the early dusk and its accompanying chill in the air puts me on something of a nostalgia jag. The widening palette of the foliage throws the cyclical nature of life in my face in puffs of leaves no longer living. Right on schedule, I've found myself lately lost in reverie, more often pleasant than not, of faded conversations over campfires, of drifting off to sleep in the back seat of an Oldsmobile while the in-dash eight-track performed the magic I still don't fully understand, of sitting quietly on various porches and patios as the stars slowly peek through my breath fogged in the gathering cold, of vistas gradually visible through the shedding trees, of the earthy aromas of decay.

It makes me wish I had sweaters I liked. It makes me wish aimless drives down blustery backroads didn't cost a small fortune in gas. It makes we want to eat soup. It makes me want to turn big piles of leaves into ticker-tape parades. It makes me wonder where I'll be when the azaleas bloom. It makes me wonder who will be with me then.

And who won't.


Title - Artist

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Heard It All Before - Sunshine Anderson
Boston - Augustana
Love Shack - The B-52s
Barbara Ann - The Beach Boys
Body Movin' (Fatboy Slim Remix) - Beastie Boys
Live Wire - Beastie Boys
My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Smokin' 100's Alone - The Bottle Rockets
Pop Champagne - Ron Browz and Jim Jones
Her Eyes Are a Blue Million Miles - Captain Beefheart
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
Operator - Jim Croce
Oh, What a Beautiful Morning - Alfred Drake
I'm So Sick - Flyleaf
Life, Love & Laughter - Donavon Frankenreiter
(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin
The Man That Got Away - Judy Garland
Can't We Try - Graham BLVD
Morning Dew - Grateful Dead
We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel
Open Arms - Journey
Dangerous - Kardinal Offishall feat. Akon
The Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog
Maria - Larry Kert
Demolition - Kinks
Hoodie - Lady Sovereign
Another Suitcase in Another Hall - Patti Lupone
Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue
Like U Crazy - Mates of State
Hang On Sloopy - The McCoys
Sweet Freedom - Michael McDonald
The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia - Reba McIntire
Please Don't Go Girl - New Kids on the Block
Eagle on a Pole - Conor Oberst
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring
Shimmy Shimmy Ya - Ol' Dirty Bastard
If You Leave - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Nine in the Afternoon - Panic at the Disco
rearviewmirror - Pearl Jam
Dirty Mind - Prince
Motion Picture Soundtrack - Radiohead
Bhang Your Bhangra (BBC Radio/Friction mash up) - Radiohiro
Pistol Grip Pump - Rage Against the Machine
Bartender Song (a.k.a. Sittin' at the Bar) - Rehab
The Noble Duke of York - Sue Schnitzer
You'll Accomp'ny Me - Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
Wasted - Martin Sexton
Normandie - Shout Out Louds
Eight Piece Box - Southern Culture on the Skids
Surfin' Bird - The Trashmen
DLZ - TV on the Radio
At This Moment - Billy Vera and the Beaters
Liquid Confidence - Warren Brothers
Bananas and Blow - Ween
Your Party - Ween
My Doorbell - The White Stripes
Fast Car - Wyclef Jean
Out on the Weekend - Neil Young

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 18 - September 2008

Last night, I watched a show on the History Channel about George Washington's experience as the Continental commander-in-chief during the American Revolution. (If you have the opportunity, I recommend it.) While I learned much, the most pertinent information concerned the practice of 18th Century European armies to close up shop for the winter, even in the middle of intercontinental war. I suppose it stands to reason: given the state of transportation technology and infrastructure, it was awfully difficult to get your well-dressed soldiers and their weapons, ammunition, food, shelter, and various other accoutrements to whatever field they were going to stand in, even under the best of circumstances. I imagine it was lethally difficult to attempt such complex and arduous maneuvers when their flesh sloughed off after 30 minutes of exposure. That said, in this age of 24-hour cruise missle strikes and battlefield target-imaging systems, it never occurred to me that there was a time when wars had intermissions.

"I bid you fair even, esteemed General. Don't forget to bundle up. See you after the thaw. It should be a lovely bombardment."

It seems, however, there are still some warriors who adhere to a variety of such genteel and outdated practices. This morning, I woke up, made some coffee, collected my Sunday Post from the front step, and settled down on my back patio to indulge in my accustomed Sunday morning ritual. Not fifteen seconds later, a half-dollar-sized glob of what must have been, nauseatingly recently, a few beakfuls of berries appeared on the masthead of the front page. Although I did not myself see the courier, I can only assume it is a message from my longstanding backyard nemeses, The Sparrows.

Those of you who keep score at home (and I know who you are because you tell me so) can attest to the fact that I was a few days late in sending out this month's call for submissions to the Playlist. It wasn't an intentional lapse. It wasn't even strictly laziness. Rather, the first Monday of September fell at the end of a long holiday weekend for me (and for much of the world that celebrates the struggle of the Labor Movement in this country). I chose to bask in the task-free atmosphere inspired by that holiday and heightened, I should admit, by a week-long vacation I took, immediately prior, visiting numerous friends and family on the road between Our Nation's Capital and The Crown Jewel of the Midwest. After an extended stretch of timeline-free meandering and delighting in pleasant company, I rudely found myself enmired in a small lake of competing obligations.

Alas, the Playlist is numbered among those for which I do not get paid and, as such, fell by the wayside for a few days.

I testify here before you today, brothers and sisters, my neglect did not end there. No, after taking one small step down the path of righteousness, I backslid as I watched the self-defined deadline for posting the results pass me by. Oh, sure: I rationalize it. I seek solace in my claims that I would rather post nothing than just throw something up for the sake of having something up. Indeed, what's the use of doing something if I'm not going to do it right? Thus did another full week pass by in shameful silence.

However, this morning's unprovoked attack sounded a clarion call throughout my backyard. Gone are the lazy summer days. Gone are the days when I have the luxury of waiting for inspiration, of soiling myself and my surroundings with my own excrement. No, today and the days, weeks, months hence must be days of action, for my enemies have decamped from their summer quarters and are on the offensive. I cannot pretend otherwise, lest they shit on me again.

Sorry for the delay.


Title - Artist

Boston - Augustana
Remote Control - Beastie Boys
You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds Five
When the Stars Go Blue - Bono and The Corrs
One Fine Day - David Byrne and Brian Eno
The Story - Brandi Carlile
Nasty Dan - Johnny Cash feat. Oscar the Grouch
Lollipop - The Chordettes
All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
Feel the Love - Cut Copy
Non nobis domine - Patrick Doyle
Forget Myself - Elbow
Big Time - Peter Gabriel
Great Expectations - The Gaslight Anthem
Barracuda - Heart
Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker
Singing in the Rain - Gene Kelly
On Call - Kings of Leon
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
At the End of the Day - Les Miserables
Stars - Les Miserables
Dead Weight - Lieutenant Marscapone
Brand New Key - Melanie
Blame It on the Rain - Milli Vanilli
The Garden - Mirah
Beautiful - Moby
Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy
That Was a Crazy Game of Poker - OAR
Candida - Tony Orlando and Dawn
Don't Laugh at Me - Peter, Paul and Mary
Amos Moses - Jerry Reed
Nearly Lost You - Screaming Trees
Family Affair - Sly and the Family Stone
Drown - Smashing Pumpkins
Gin and Juice - Snoop Doggy Dogg
How to See the Sun Rise - Ben Sollee
Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Hawkmoon 269 - U2
Poison Cup - M. Ward
Squeeze Box - The Who
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
Too Shy to Say - Stevie Wonder

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 17 - August 2008

I know my default routine in this space has been to just paste in the text of whatever nonsense I sent out with the collector e-mail. For those of you who got the collector e-mail, you will recall that it was a rather lengthy e-mail soliloquy, in several installments, tracing my steps through the process of surrendering my Georgia driver's license and registering both me and my car in Our Nation's Capital. It can best be summed up thusly:
1 - When I took my car to get inspected, it failed.
2 - I got my brakes checked out, and they were fine.
3 - When I took my car to get reinspected, it passed.
4 - The DMV wasn't all that bad.

There was some chatter about martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, but I can only milk that for so long. In reality, I suppose if I'm not going to use the already-written material, I should come up with some new material to put here, but I've put off posting this month's playlist entirely too long already.

Besides, while I was making coffee this morning, I shit my pants on a gamble and loss. That has made me a little gunshy about deviating too far from the straightforward for the rest of the day.

I would, however, be remiss in my responsibility if I didn't mention that we have added this month one more designee to the 4F4 pantheon. Justin Timberlake rounds out the first triad by joining The Beatles and Tom Waits. Congratulations to JT and the ubiquitous Clear Channel Communications.

Here's our list.


Title - Artist

Take a Chance on Me - ABBA
Obsession - Animotion
Go It Alone - Beck
Forever - Chris Brown
Litup - Buckcherry
The Sweetest Tooth - Camphor
Everybody Knows - The Catfish Hunters
Georgia On My Mind - Ray Charles
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - The Charlie Daniels Band
Life Is a Highway - Tom Cochrane
Death & All His Friends - Coldplay
Walk This Land - E-Z Rollers
Sugar, We're Going Down - Fallout Boy
Respect - Aretha Franklin
A Little Bitty Tear - Burl Ives
Everything's Alright - Jesus Christ Superstar
Used to Get High - John Butler Trio
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
D.A.N.C.E. - Justice
Mahi Ve - kal ho na hoo
Milli - Lil' Wayne
Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer
Electric Feel - MGMT
Kids - MGMT
Paper Planes - MIA
Go for a Soda - Kim Mitchell
Prayer for the Paranoid - Mojave 3
Loud - Matt Nathanson
You Were Always on My Mind - Willie Nelson
California - Phantom Planet
Home Away From Home - Pokey Lafarge
Watch the Girl Destroy Me - Possum Dixon
Idioteque - Radiohead
Seventeen Years - Ratatat
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
Smoke from a Distant Fire - The Sanford-Townsend Band
Fidelity - Regina Spektor
Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now - Starship
Crackerman - Stone Temple Pilots
Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart - Stone Temple Pilots
All I Want to Do - Sugarland
Senorita - Justin Timberlake
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
What Goes Around - Justin Timberlake
Barry Gibb Talk Show Theme - Justin Timberlake and Jimmie Fallon
LA Freeway - Jerry Jeff Walker
Mr. Richard Smoker - Ween
1921 - The Who
Olympic Theme - John Williams
You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 16 - July 2008

I spent most of today toying with the idea of making this month's Stuck in our Head collector all about Rock Band. This is about how far I got:

"Because you're my favorite, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There's something big on the horizon, and I want you to hear about it before everyone else does: Rock Band.

It's a video game, see? And, you and your friends can make beautiful music together by mimicking musical instrument gestures in order to press one or a combination of several buttons, each designated by a specific color..."

It was going to be awesome. I was going to sell you completely on the idea that I had discovered Rock Band before anyone else, even though you already know about it and, further, have probably spent a good chunk of time fact-checking the Wikipedia article about it.

Unfortunately, I just couldn't get going on it. There were all sorts of things distracting me. First, there was The Episode of the Lost Pieces of Paper, and that took up a good hour or so this morning. Then, there was the Case of the Verbally Abusive and Uninformed Rental Car Guy, which mysteriously sucked up about three hours this afternoon. Interwoven through those gems was the Mystery of the Dwindling Copier Toner and the comedy of errors known as The Hassle You Can't Refuse and that ol' rerun of A Bad Idea That Keeps Getting Worse. Somewhere in there, I took some time to eat lunch, too.

So, I didn't write my hilarious and cuttingly insightful tongue-in-cheeker about Rock Band, and, I know, we're all a little spiritually poorer for it, but there are real tragedies out there: let's not cheapen them and our experiences of them by getting too worked up over the Rock Band shtick that never was. This Project is about exploration, discovery, exploration, discovery, and repetition.

Let's keep our eye on the ball, no matter how surprisingly hard the Easy drum part on Margaritaville is to play virtually.


Title - Artist

Senegal Fast-Food - Amadou and Mariam
So Rich, So Pretty - Mickey Avalon
Feel Like Making Love - Bad Company
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
Don't Let Me Down - The Beatles
Timebomb - Beck
Walls - Beck
Screaming Target - Big Youth
Yes We Can - Bob the Builder
Golden Years - David Bowie
It's the Love - The Breeders
On No, Not My Baby - Maxine Brown
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
Say Won'tcha - Chocolate Milk
Sailin - Christopher Cross
Lovers in Japan - Coldplay
Afro Blue - John Coltrane
This Shit Will Fuck You Up - Combichrist
Solid - The Dandy Warhols
Damaged - Danity Kane
Say My Name - Destiny's Child
Fire Smoke and Tone Loc - DJ Scholli
Est-ce que tu - Dusty Trails
Paranoiattack - The Faint
Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters
Virginia Moon - Foo Fighters
God Bless the USA - Lee Greenwood
Maneater - Hall and Oates
Private Eyes - Hall and Oates
Mandolin Rain - Bruce Hornsby and the Range
Run for the Hills - Iron Maiden
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
All Summer Long - Kid Rock
Do You Hear the People Sing? - Les Miserables
The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack - Liars
Prostitute 2 - Lil' Wayne
It's a Mistake - Men At Work
I'm Alright - Joe Dee Messina
Kids - MGMT
Little Green Apples - Roger Miller
Sweet Dreams - Roy Orbison
Fuck and Run - Liz Phair
You'll See - Rent
Don't Stop the Music - Rhianna
How Do I Live - LeAnn Rimes
Chocolate Milk - Scribble Monster and His Pals
Talkin' Seattle Grunge Blues - Todd Snider
Suits (Are Picking Up the Bill) - Squirrel Nut Zippers
America, Fuck Yeah! - Team America
Man! I Feel Like a Woman - Shania Twain
Holding Out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler
Red Red Wine - UB40
Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - Us3
Life's Been Good - Joe Walsh
(Past Due) - The Weakerthans
Your Party - Ween
Pork and Beans - Weezer
Ebony & Ivory - Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 15 - June 2008

This past week or so has turned Our Nation's Capital in to the battleground for an epic struggle between the seasons. The campaign has brought an unpredictable but intoxicating mix of bright, crisp mornings and sweaty evenings punctuated by the occasional violent cloudburst. I've been pleased to find each turn of weather brings its own delights.

The vernal mornings have permitted me to recreate Sunday mornings on my front porch back at 1164 with Kind of Blue dancing on the freshening breeze coming in off Cheasapeake Bay. (This pleasant association set, as it is, in my backyard has momentarily cooled the conflict between the sparrows and me.) The steamy nights have taken me back to sweating through my July flannels at a sidewalk table outside the Paper Moon Cafe where the coffee flowed like wine. The cloudbursts...well, the cloudbursts and their attendant tornado warnings have given me a more plausible than usual excuse to seek shelter in basement bars for hours and hours at a time.

With such an aggressive display of transition before me, it finally occurred to me to do some spring cleaning this weekend. The state of cleanliness in my world is defined almost exclusively by the condition of the desk in my bedroom. It follows a cycle along these lines:
1 - I experience my semi-annual to annual cleaning frenzy and restore my desk to smart-looking and functional condition.
2 - After a month or so of dedicated maintenance, I leave one day's worth of unopened mail on my desk.
3 - I add to that a magazine I intend to read fully, as soon as I get one of the replica Sunday mornings described above.
4 - I add to that a book I will read as soon as I finish this one.
5 - I add to that the half-ton of change that has somehow accumulated in my pocket.
6 - Sediment continues to accumulate until there is no longer room on the desk to use my computer.
7 - I move my computer to the living room.
8 - I continue to pile shit on my desk until I begin to use the chair as a holding tank for shit that falls off the desk.
9 - I bemoan the deplorable state of my desk. (This usually lasts for about a month.)
10 - Repeat.

This past weekend, I started a new cycle, but it wasn't just any cleaning frenzy. No, sir. I didn't just sort and organize the shit piled on my desk. I also sorted through two shelves and a milk crate full of shit relegated at some point in the ill-defined past to a growing pile of Shit I'll Sort Out Someday. Lest you think said pile consisted only of shit I have cleared off my desk in the past couple of years in my current residence, I should note at the heart of this larger pile was a smaller pile of Shit I'll Sort Out Someday that I actually moved with me from my previous residence (and, likely, a residence or two before that).

That's right. I not only kept a crateful of daily detritus in my room but carried it with me from room to room, from state to state, from year to year. (The receipt from a Nashville ATM dated 8/24/02? Wow.)

It's okay. Let it sink in. Has the initial disbelief and horror subsided? Good. Now, ask the question, "Paul, what of this monstrosity of pack-rattage? Now that you have introduced this notion to me, I will not be able to sleep at night until I know where it is! Give me the rest of the story, you heartless bastard!"

Now there's really no need for namecalling. Calm down. Go get some water. Better now? Okay. In answer to your question, the Shit I'll Sort Out Someday was sorted out.

You can breathe easy again.


Title - Artist

A Wet Dream - Kip Addotta
The Heart of the Matter - India Arie
Black Tornado - DanBern
Tide Is High - Blondie
Blue Canoe - Blue Mountain
Virginia Reel Around the Fountain - Built to Spill
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
Lovefool - The Cardigans
Viva la Vida - Coldplay
To Live is to Fly - Cowboy Junkies
Zombie - The Cranberries
See You Again - Miley Cyrus
Damaged - Danity Kane
#41 - Dave Matthews Band
What chu Blingin' to da Party - DC Juicy
American Boy - Estelle feat. Kanye West
We Care A Lot - Faith No More
Frankie's Gun - The Felice Brothers
Labels or Love - Fergie
I Feel Better - Frightened Rabbit
Waiting Room - Fugazi
Go Cubs Go - Steve Goodman
Elevate Myself - Grandaddy
Tennessee Jed - Strand Lyceum, May 23, 1972 - Grateful Dead
No Pussy Blues - Grinderman
I Believe in Love - Indigo Girls
Laid - James
Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane
I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
Superwoman - Alicia Keys
Dejalo - Rilo Kiley
Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
Ain't Going Anywhere Soon - Kleenex Girl Wonder
I Cut Myself in Half - Kleenex Girl Wonder
Feels Like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
The Loco-Motion - Little Eva
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
4 Minutes - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake and Timabaland
Mandy - Barry Manilow
Ik Ben Mega Mindy - Mega Mindy
Blame It on the Rain - Milli Vanilli
Where Eagles Dare - The Misfits
Make it Mine - Jason Mraz
Big Poppa - Notorious B.I.G.
Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
Fortune Teller - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss
The Coffee Song - Ralph's World
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters
Angel - Shaggy and Rayvon
The Girl You Lost to Cocaine - Sia
Fidelity - Regina Spektor
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
Long Nights - Eddie Vedder
Born to Love You - Ty Webb
Waiting for Somebody - Paul Westerberg
The Promise - When in Rome
Yo Yo Bye Bye - Why?
FreeCreditReport.com jingle
I Dream of Jeannie theme
Lead On, O King Eternal

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 14 - May 2008

Today marked the beginning of training my summer staff. Over the past several years, I've managed to whittle down my annual training responsibilities from eight or nine weeks to just one week a year, at least when it comes to from-the-ground-up group training sessions. I consider it no small victory that I've cut that time by 70-80%. In fact, I find great relief in it because I have a confession to make.

For all of my narcissism and effervescent charm, I hate speaking in front of groups.

What's the line people throw out there all the time? Something about public speaking being the most commonly named fear? Something about it routinely outranking death?

That's right. I'm a cliche.

I'm not exactly sure where death falls on my continuum of fear, but I do know that I have never been able to sleep soundly the night before I'm scheduled to talk to a group of people. My fitfulness is even more pronounced when it's a group of people I don't know. Last night was one of those fitful nights. I imagine tonight will be, too.

I spent most of last night waking up in a sweat with the afterimage of various mortifying speaking scenarios projected on my bedroom wall. Most of them are pretty standard: forgotten pants, an audience of high school bullies or the long-ago-dead, realizing mid-sentence I've chosen a topic that is as egregiously inappropriate as it is irrelevant, fruitlessly searching room after room only to eventually realize I'm at the wrong location, passing out schedules on the wrong color paper. Now, I've been around the block a time or two, and experience tells me quite clearly that my public speaking engagements almost always turn out not only okay but often exceptionally well. (That said, I sometimes wish I could take a second stab at that Alternative Spring Break Kickoff speech back in 1999.) Knowing things have usually gone smoothly does nothing to allay my fears. I suppose that's why they're called irrational.

Given the uneasiness that haunts my dreams this time of year, I would be lying if I said I don't take solace in the fact that, from time to time, the uneasiness is briefly exorcised by an errant song or two, even if they sometimes impart their own burdens.


Title - Artist

Everybody Knows - Ryan Adams
Watch Over You - Alter Bridge
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
Free as a Bird - The Beatles
Train in Vain - The Clash
Positive Walk - DJ Moule
Small Time Blues - Pete Droge
Molly Malone - The Dubliners
It's Bumper to Bumper on the Rainbow Bridge - Fisher-Price House
Gin and Juice - The Gourds
November Rain - Guns 'n' Roses
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Intelligentactile 101 - Jesca Hoop
Spinning - The Innocence Mission
Angel Eyes - Jeff Healy Band
White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane
Used to Get High - John Butler Trio
Come Baby Come - K7
Prabhu Deva - Benny Lava
Big Spender - Peggy Lee
Oh, Yoko! - John Lennon
Working Class - Hero John Lennon
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Another Day - Jamie Lidell
We Own the Sky - M83
4 Minutes - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Dream a Little Dream of Me - The Mamas & the Papas
Monday, Monday - The Mamas & the Papas
Wonderwall - Oasis
Hungry for You - The Police
Madly - Tristan Prettyman
Baker Street - Gerry Rafferty
The Soluble Song - Rathergood
Smell Yo Dick - Riskay
Night Drive - Garnet Rogers
What'll I Do? - Linda Ronstadt
Enter Aretha - Rolf Schraa
Prayer to God - Shellac
I Wish - Skee-Lo
Today - The Smashing Pumpkins
Panic - The Smiths
Tattoo - Jordin Sparks
5 Dollar Foot Long - Subway
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Paper Rosie - Gene Watson
Pot Kettle Black - Wilco
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Higher Love - Steve Winwood
Who Is He (And What Is He To You?) - Bill Withers
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Ilene Woods
Sweetest Girl - Wyclef and Akon
2080 - Yeasayer
Birds - Neil Young
Alphabet Song
FreeCreditReport.com Jingle

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 13 - April 2008

Holy crap. How long does it take, huh?

I know I generally do a pretty sweet job each month of regaling you with tales of adventure and romance when I put the call out for songs stuck in your head. (I mean did you catch that one about the sparrow? That was awesome. A little heavy on the birdshit maybe, but isn't life the same way?)

I might do a marginally less awesome (not to mention, less timely) job this month because I'm on vacation. (Or, at least I was on vacation.) I probably should sit here and fret and foam about piecing together a story about my northern West Coast tour through Vancouver and Portland and Seattle. Alas, I was more keen on proceeding through my northern West Coast tour (and, subsequently, keeping my feet under me upon my return) than I was writing about it.

I wager you still don't want to hear about my five-and-a-half-hour flight from Toronto to Vancouver playing the role of sticker album for the two-year-old in the seat next to me. You're not interested in my discovery that my feet are finally too old to bounce back from six hours of aimlessly wandering around in the arch-support-devoid environment of wet Converse All-Stars. If I told you about the old man who grabbed my sleeve on the elevator to ask me about the issue of Poetry magazine in my hand before he took it and opened it to the ones he wrote, you would probably nod your head indulgently while trying to catch the bartender's eye for another drink. So, let's just admit we're both not really in to it this month, that this is the time of year that you and I - like the Forest Service - spend entirely too much time putting out fires we ourselves didn't start and get on to the important part.

However, in the interest of a little thematic continuity, yet another bird shit in my eye yesterday. (What did I do?)

One other notable development this month: a second artist has ascended to the exclusive Four from Four (4F4) circle. When I was initially trying to come up with an appropriate special designation to observe on the Playlist, I wasn't sure if the 4F4 criteria made any sense. I mean...I just pulled the rules out of the air when I noticed something that hadn't happened before.

With The Beatles as the second designee, I feel pretty confident. The Beatles and Tom Waits? That ain't bad company.


Title - Artist

Tootsie Roll - 69 Boyz
I am the Unknown - The Aliens
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
FunPlex - The B-52s
I Fall in Love Too Easily - Chet Baker
Let's Get Lost - Chet Baker
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
Michelle - The Beatles
We Can Work It Out - The Beatles
Drive My Car/Runnin' with the Devil - The Beatles feat. David Lee Roth
Yellow Submarine - The Beatles
Act Nice and Gentle - The Black Keys
Holiday Roads - Lindsey Buckingham
Gangsta - Bushwalla
Bubbly - Colbie Caillait
Goin' to Acapulco - Calexico w/ Jim James
Gimme A Break Theme - Nell Carter
Chivaree - Channels
Los Angeles - Counting Crows
Love is Free - Sheryl Crow
Crimewave - Crystal Castles
See You Again - Miley Cyrus
Underground - Kimya Dawson
Love Bites - Def Leppard
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show - Neil Diamond
Outfit - Drive-By Truckers
Free Your Mind - En Vogue
Frankie's Gun! - The Felice Brothers
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven
It's Bumper to Bumper on the Rainbow Bridge - Fisher-Price House
Peggy-O (April 10, 1978) - Grateful Dead
Electro Skeletor - Sen. Mike Gravel
On the Road to Rhode Island - Stewie and Brian Griffin
Unsung - Helmet
Generator - The Holloways
Road to Morocco - Bob Hope and Bing Crosby
Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol
My Funny Valentine - Etta James
Burning Down the House - Tom Jones & The Cardigans
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
No One - Alicia Keys
All These Things I've Done - The Killers
Cheap and Cheerful - The Kills
Multiply - Jamie Lidell
Lou Reed - The Little Willies
4 Minutes - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake
The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields
Long-Forgotten Fairytale - The Magnetic Fields
Washington, D.C. - The Magnetic Fields
Mandy - Barry Manilow
I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer
Freedom - George Michael
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
Ride Wit Me - Nelly
Go Places - New Pornographers
Houseguest - Nothing Painted Blue
Viva Las Vegas - Elvis Presley
Hello in There - John Prine
This Is Hardcore - Pulp
Horse to Water - REM
Umbrella - Rihanna
The Seed (2.0) - The Roots
Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Santa Esmerelda
Sentimental Heart - She and Him
The Coffee Song - Frank Sinatra
Go Speed Go - Superstar DJ Keoki
Psycho Killer - The Talking Heads
Emily - Billy Bob Thornton
All-American Girl - Carrie Underwood
M79 - Vampire Weekend
Blue Balloon - Ween
What is Fun? - The Yo Gabba Gabba Crew
Long May You Run - Neil Young

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 12 - March 2008

There's a metal gutter just outside my bedroom window. On some sunny mornings when I'm lounging in bed, the sparrows who tend to congregate in my backyard often spend some time raising a holy ruckus by bathing in that gutter. To the uneducated ear, it sounds like someone shaking a coffee can with about forty-five cents in it. My ears, however, have grown to know it for what it is. On the rare occasions when the gutter birds wake me up to a hangover, I generally curse them roundly and then rap sharply on the window in an attempt to scare them off long enough for the antacid, ibuprofen, and Gatorade I bought on the stumble home to work their collective magic.

Not so long ago, I found myself in that very situation, and, as is my custom, I knocked on the window. Far from bringing an end to the noise, my intervention only gave rise to more clatter. Predictably, I ran to the window to see what was the matter. Through some unfortunate confluence of gravity and fate, my storm window had slipped down about three inches, and a sparrow had insinuated itself in to the space between the top half of my storm window and my...uh...calm window. It had fallen to the top of the bottom half of the window (bottom of the top half?) and, without room to spread its wings, was left to flail about, beating its wings ineffectually against the glass, which itself was becoming smeared with various sparrow excretions.

Awesome. Nothing says hangover cure like sunlight, noise, and birdshit.

My first thought was to raise the window so this littlest of God's creatures could ride it back up to the top of the window where it could leave the way it came and go make its noise outside someone else's window. Alas, the little bastard slipped past its lift like a guy who just took your wallet through the closing subway doors. My wits at full strength, I slammed the window shut before the sparrow made a full-blown escape. Now I know why all of those prisons have a double fence. Contingency plans.

So, now it's 730AM, I'm still hungover, and this frantic feathery little shit factory is one thin pane of glass away from begriming my bed.

I flopped back on my pillow and pulled up the covers. "To hell with him," I thought, "I'll just lay here and go to sleep. I help those who help themselves. If he can't ride the Great Train to Freedom, then he can just die right there in my window."

That didn't last too long because this little bird was loud as hell. Besides, I figured if I left it there to die, I would eventually forget about it, and then one day I would be wondering about the smell and then come across the mummified remnants of the little sparrow I turned my back on. So, I started casting about for a non-doubled-fence contingency plan.

That's when my eye lit upon the Miller Lite ice bucket I stole from the Naples, Florida Holiday Inn hotel bar back in the summer of '98. It was after a wedding and before swimming in the hotel pool with my jeans on. It was a short leap from that to using the ice bucket to trap our friend (using the most recent issue of Good Magazine as a lid) and carry him downstairs and out in to the backyard where he belonged.

Since I was up (and, admittedly, a little jangled from the adrenaline of wrestling a two-ounce bird into submission), I set the bucket down and watched the tired little fellow as he gradually came around to the notion that he was no longer trapped. After a few minutes, he lurched up to a low wire and sat there to rest for a long several more minutes, during which he swayed like a drunk on the verge of passing out on the curb while trying to hail a cab. When he didn't fly off or fall dead of exhaustion, I went inside, closed my storm window all the way to the top, and went back to bed. I don't know what happened to the sparrow, but he wasn't there when I went back outside. I'd like to believe he is still one of the ones who raises holy hell in my gutter on sunny weekend mornings, but it's more likely that his weakened state made him an easy target for one of the feral cats that haunts my alley. In either case, I am confident that his time since the Window Imprisonment has been more fitting, if not more fruitful, than it would have been if I hadn't shoved him in to a plastic bucket and taken him back out where he belonged.

There are times like that morning when I feel like the Keeper, making free what is wrongfully restrained. There are other days when I feel like the Sparrow, trapped by my own curiosity and a stifling closeness that is felt but not seen. On days like today, however, I feel like the Window.

You have no idea how hard it is to get birdshit out of the furthest corners of my head.


Title - Artist

Cold Hearted - Paula Abdul
Forever Your Girl - Paula Abdul
All Out of Love - Air Supply
Beauty School Dropout - Frankie Avalon
Old MacDonald
I Want You - Erykah Badu
Ophelia - The Band
When I Paint My Masterpiece - The Band
Believe - The Bravery
My Maria - Brooks & Dunn
John Saw That Number - Neko Case
At the Ceili - Celtic Woman
Saltwater - Chicane
Downtown - Petula Clark
Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
Send in the Clowns - Judy Collins
Alison - Elvis Costello
Lil Rock Bounce - The Country Boyz
Drive In Drive Out - Dave Matthews Band
Wallflower - Bob Dylan
The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly) - Missy Elliot
So Sorry - Feist
The Cool - Lupe Fiasco
Low - Flo Rida
Drunken Lullabies - Flogging Molly
Distant Lover - Marvin Gaye
Thank You for Being a Friend - Golden Girls Theme
Eyes of the World - The Grateful Dead
The Letter - Macy Gray
Ooh Ahh - Grits
These Eyes - The Guess Who
Riding in My Car - Woody Guthrie
Hi-Ya! - Headlights
When the Other Foot Drops, Uncle - Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
A Whole New World - Brad Kane & Lea Salonga
Drunk Trumpet - Kid Koala
Tossin' and Turnin' - Bobby Lewis
The First Time - Lifehouse
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park
I'll Walk Alone - Mary Martin
Paper Planes - MIA
Love Me Sexy - Jackie Moon
Fry The Chicken - Ms. Peachez
I'm My Own Grandpa - Willie Nelson
Bye, Bye, Bye - *NSYNC
Jolene - Dolly Parton
Better Man - Pearl Jam
Wildflowers - Tom Petty
Fire - The Pointer Sisters
Keep Me in Mind - The Primitives
Peter and the Wolf - Prokofiev
Round and Round - Ratt
High Noon - Tex Ritter
Diablo Rojo - Rodigo y Gabriela
You're a Wolf - Sea Wolf
Still the Same - Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band
I'm Fucking Matt Damon - Sarah Silverman
Sexual Eruption - Snoop Dogg
Tattoo - Jordin Sparks
Jack Pepsi - Tad
Insistor - Tapes n Tapes
Hooked on a Feeling - B.J. Thomas
Your English is Good - Toyko Police Club
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
Beautiful Girls - Van Halen
Cocaine Blues - Townes Van Zandt
Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder
Luka - Suzanne Vega
You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told) - White Stripes
Arleen (John Keane Dance Mix) - Widespread Panic
The Thanks I Get - Wilco
Step By Step - Jesse Winchester
Use Me - Bill Withers
Los Angeles - X

Stuck in Our Heads - Vol.11 - February 2008 - First Anniversary Edition

The Stuck in Our Heads Playlist Project is one year old! Okay, I know the timeline is a little funky, what with the initial playlist being jacked up and there being no March playlist at all, but are we slaves to "calendars" or "math" or such myths? I tell you today: we are not. Let's keep our eye on the ball.

I initially found myself at a loss how best to observe such a momentous occasion. After a year's investment by all of us in this endeavor, I want to commemorate it in a manner truly befitting the moment. In times like these, I turn to the one cornerstone that has given me strength all of these years. I try to see my options through the eyes of the one man who was never at a loss for conviction, and I try to follow the path I think he would choose. I asked myself, as I so often do: "What would Fred Sanford do?"

So, rinse out your paper cups and pour the champipple!

Earlier this week, I went to fetch a few ice cubes for my anniversary beverage, and I discovered - much to my dismay, although even moreso to the dismay of my once-frozen poultry - my freezer wasn't doing its job. Instead of a mountain of gleaming ice cubes, I found but a molehill of tepid water. It seems one can never fully celebrate an milestone without life jumping in and reminding you there are plenty more hurdles beyond it. I'm happy to report, however, the freezer seems to be holding its own since then.

At least I got through an entire month without breaking an iPod-brand portable media player. Hang in there, Number Five! This warm champipple's for you.

For you, fair favorite, I have, in addition to the warm champipple, some fun facts about the playlist's first year. [drum roll]

Total Songs on the Playlist: 706
Total Artists on the Playlist: (I really can't focus to count them right now. Later.)
Total Submissions: 842
Total Contributors: 133
Most Submissions in a Single Month: 116 (April 2007)
Most Contributors in a Single Month: 56 (April 2007)
Artist Submitted Most Times: Amy Winehouse (16)
Artist with Most Submitted Songs: The Police (7)
Song Submitted Most Times: Rehab by Amy Winehouse (14)
Number of Submissions I Contributed: 29
Most Submissions from a Single Contributor Who Is Not Me: 23
Number of Contributors Who Are Not Me With a Submission Every Month: 2

Submissions with the 10 Highest Play Counts According to Trusty Number Five:
10 - (tie) Philosophy by Ben Folds Five, Down South Jukin' by Lynyrd Skynyrd (27)
9 - (tie) God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash, The Final Countdown by Europe (28)
8 - Low by Flo Rida feat. T-Pain (29)
7 - 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton (30)
6 - (tie) Show Them to Me by Rodney Carrington, Bring Your Whole Crew by DMX (31)
5 - I'm Shipping Up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys (32)
4 - Irreplaceable - Beyonce (35)
3 - (tie) Your Love by The Outfield, 50 Dollars and a Flask of Crown by Bleu Edmonson and Matt Powell (36)
2 - Rehab by Amy Winehouse (44)
1 - Smell Yo Dick by Riskay feat. Aviance and Real (56)

That's right. Rodney Carrington and DMX tied.

Good luck topping that, Year #2.


Title - Artist

Don't Turn Around – Ace of Base
Suicidal – Akon
Watching Airplanes – Gary Allan
Melissa – The Allman Brothers Band
Christmas, Don't Be Late – Alvin & the Chipmunks
Wheels on the Bus - Kyle Andrews
Love Song – Sarah Bareilles
Expectations – Belle & Sebastian
Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley
Big Dipper – Built to Spill
Scattered Pearls – Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
Give Me One Reason – Tracy Chapman
Yakety Yak – The Coasters
Zombie – The Cranberries
Loose Lips – Kimya Dawson
So Nice So Smart – Kimya Dawson
Sacre Coeur – Tina Dico
Way Down in the Hole – Steve Earle
Michael Jackson – Fatboy Slim
100 Years – Five for Fighting
Don't Stop – Fleetwood Mac
Don't Leave Me This Way – Thelma Houston
Earth Song – Michael Jackson
Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' – Michael Jackson
Cathedrals – Jump Little Children
California Girls – The Magnetic Fields
The Servant Song – The Maranatha! Singers
Jump in the Fire – Metallica
Relax, Take It Easy – Mika
Can't Get You Out of My Head – Kylie Minogue
Pimp Juice – Nelly
Valentine – Old 97s
Get to Love – The Old Ceremony
Knowing – OutKast
Running Down a Dream – Tom Petty
See Emily Play – Pink Floyd
U.N.I.T.Y. – Queen Latifah
Hey Mickey – The Riplets
The Gambler – Kenny Rogers
Rain Fall Down – The Rolling Stones
Walking in the Rain – The Ronettes
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It – Will Smith
Gz and Hustlas – Snoop Doggy Dogg
I've Just Seen a Face – Jim Sturgess
Teardrops on My Guitar – Taylor Swift
The Kids Don't Stand a Chance – Vampire Weekend
Walcott – Vampire Weekend
The Yes We Can Song - Will.i.am
Charles Town Races and Slots Jingle
Sleep Country USA Jingle