Stuck in Our Heads - Vol. 14 - May 2008

Today marked the beginning of training my summer staff. Over the past several years, I've managed to whittle down my annual training responsibilities from eight or nine weeks to just one week a year, at least when it comes to from-the-ground-up group training sessions. I consider it no small victory that I've cut that time by 70-80%. In fact, I find great relief in it because I have a confession to make.

For all of my narcissism and effervescent charm, I hate speaking in front of groups.

What's the line people throw out there all the time? Something about public speaking being the most commonly named fear? Something about it routinely outranking death?

That's right. I'm a cliche.

I'm not exactly sure where death falls on my continuum of fear, but I do know that I have never been able to sleep soundly the night before I'm scheduled to talk to a group of people. My fitfulness is even more pronounced when it's a group of people I don't know. Last night was one of those fitful nights. I imagine tonight will be, too.

I spent most of last night waking up in a sweat with the afterimage of various mortifying speaking scenarios projected on my bedroom wall. Most of them are pretty standard: forgotten pants, an audience of high school bullies or the long-ago-dead, realizing mid-sentence I've chosen a topic that is as egregiously inappropriate as it is irrelevant, fruitlessly searching room after room only to eventually realize I'm at the wrong location, passing out schedules on the wrong color paper. Now, I've been around the block a time or two, and experience tells me quite clearly that my public speaking engagements almost always turn out not only okay but often exceptionally well. (That said, I sometimes wish I could take a second stab at that Alternative Spring Break Kickoff speech back in 1999.) Knowing things have usually gone smoothly does nothing to allay my fears. I suppose that's why they're called irrational.

Given the uneasiness that haunts my dreams this time of year, I would be lying if I said I don't take solace in the fact that, from time to time, the uneasiness is briefly exorcised by an errant song or two, even if they sometimes impart their own burdens.


Title - Artist

Everybody Knows - Ryan Adams
Watch Over You - Alter Bridge
Kokomo - The Beach Boys
Free as a Bird - The Beatles
Train in Vain - The Clash
Positive Walk - DJ Moule
Small Time Blues - Pete Droge
Molly Malone - The Dubliners
It's Bumper to Bumper on the Rainbow Bridge - Fisher-Price House
Gin and Juice - The Gourds
November Rain - Guns 'n' Roses
Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Intelligentactile 101 - Jesca Hoop
Spinning - The Innocence Mission
Angel Eyes - Jeff Healy Band
White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane
Used to Get High - John Butler Trio
Come Baby Come - K7
Prabhu Deva - Benny Lava
Big Spender - Peggy Lee
Oh, Yoko! - John Lennon
Working Class - Hero John Lennon
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Another Day - Jamie Lidell
We Own the Sky - M83
4 Minutes - Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland
Dream a Little Dream of Me - The Mamas & the Papas
Monday, Monday - The Mamas & the Papas
Wonderwall - Oasis
Hungry for You - The Police
Madly - Tristan Prettyman
Baker Street - Gerry Rafferty
The Soluble Song - Rathergood
Smell Yo Dick - Riskay
Night Drive - Garnet Rogers
What'll I Do? - Linda Ronstadt
Enter Aretha - Rolf Schraa
Prayer to God - Shellac
I Wish - Skee-Lo
Today - The Smashing Pumpkins
Panic - The Smiths
Tattoo - Jordin Sparks
5 Dollar Foot Long - Subway
Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads
Paper Rosie - Gene Watson
Pot Kettle Black - Wilco
Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder
Higher Love - Steve Winwood
Who Is He (And What Is He To You?) - Bill Withers
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes - Ilene Woods
Sweetest Girl - Wyclef and Akon
2080 - Yeasayer
Birds - Neil Young
Alphabet Song
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